Hope Ninja Parents Podcast EP6: Kids & Anxiety

Anxiety is basically predicting the future, but it’s all negative. It’s kind of like fear that has stuck around for a bit too long.

The Gheorg app specifically talks about anxiety as those big worries that stick with us.

Some anxiety is a normal part of a kid’s life. But how can we tell the difference between expected vs. disruptive anxiety?

Here we discuss signs of an anxious moment, and how to role model accurate thinking. Gheorg founder and psychologist Dr Louise Metcalf speaks with Gheorg’s Schools Program Manager and Mindset Coach, Cynthia Painter, about supporting your child to balance both positive and negative perspectives.

Listen to the episode to learn about the science of anxiety, and how to nurture a growth mindset in your child.

Watch on Youtube

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Intro: Anxiety - It’s something that worries a lot of parents about their kids. So let’s see how we can understand it to better support them

01:21 What is anxiety, how can we help our kids reduce or navigate out of those situations

03:04 Scientific overview of the genetic causes and purpose of anxiety: predetermination, methylation and hypervigilance

05:34 Learned aspects contributing to the development of anxiety: it’s not just what a parent communicates, but also how a child receives the message

05:53 Acknowledging that communication is complex, and anxiety is a complicated result of both genetic and learned factors

06:50 Understanding personal and cultural sensitivities, and role modelling helpful strategies

07:38 Anxiety can be a facilitator of avoiding things: social phobia in introverted children

08:04 What anxiety does to our thinking, capacity to deal with situations, and our body

9:10 Fight or flight mode and its link to the survival of our prehistoric ancestors: adrenaline and noadrenaline’s physiological effects

11:28 How does anxiety affect our thinking processes ‘in the moment’ vs ‘longer term, including scientific effects on the brain’s prefrontal cortex

12:54 Negative impacts of anxiety on our memory and recall - school exams being a key area where kids need support

13:23 Patterns developed by anxiety around particular people and places, becoming predictions and social anxiety

14:01 How patterns of anxiety develop into fixed beliefs, mindsets and identities that create further challenges, including sensory and neurological issues

15:37 Some anxiety is normal: signals a child is having an anxious moment, and how to role model processing anxious feelings

18:17 Disruptions from anxiety: how parents and teachers can gauge when children need more support; including triggers, physical symptoms and avoidance behaviours

20:50 Language of anxiety: recognising anxious phrases and mindsets within kids’ communication; “I can’t …”, “It never …”, “... always bad” etc

22:30 Believing and supporting kids who are showing disruptive signs of anxiety, and how to reframe ineffective messaging

24:09 A mental checklist: Separate anxious behaviours from normal ‘kid behaviour’ by keeping track of frequency and consistency

25:06 Challenges for us as parents: talking to kids about their fears, hearing where they are coming from and supporting them away from avoidance

26:39 Strategies and techniques that parents can use to support kids, including the Gheorg app, mindfulness, sensory activities and practising reframing

28:37 Modelling language from a growth mindset, and getting curiosity about phrases from a fixed mindset

29:07 Acknowledging big emotions: Practising language to acknowledge kids’ reality, and not dismissing their feelings

30:12 Louise defines hope as the skill to see a positive future, and how it can nurture emotional regulation in our kids

32:15 ‘Hope techniques’: Practising gratitude and looking for positives when children are in a calm state

34:04 Reframing gratitude techniques as just a memory exercise, and why they are effective. You can replace ‘grateful’ with ‘great’, ‘fun’ or ‘interesting’ things that happened each day

35:10 Building emotional ‘muscle memory’ and resilience: Hope as accurate thinking, the practice of looking for hopeful opportunities, and grounded positivity

36:42 Confirmation bias: Training our brains to look for positive feedback, rather than just negative feedback

37:59 Podcast episode summary